In the wake of the doping double back by Ryan Braun last week, the seemingly never-ending debate about performance enhancing drug (or PEDs) usage in sports has raged on.
Braun, a Major League Baseball player for the Milwaukee Brewers and 2011 National League MVP originally tested positive for elevated testosterone levels caused by PEDs in late 2011. However Braun ducked suspension, as he successfully appealed the positive test thanks to the unusual transportation and storage practices of his urine sample. Braun wasn’t in denial as much as he was openly defiant about the positive test result. As the media circled like vultures, left fielder/third baseman was as aggressive with pundits as he is with a dead red 3-1 fastball. Of course, being the first baseball player to actually win his appeal allowed him to walk around like he was Ric Flair or somebody, but last week’s conviction only served to make the once heroic Braun seem arrogant and pathetic, with his douchebag swag rising to Bieber-like levels.
After getting nailed with a a 65-game suspension for his involvement with the South Florida anti-aging clinic Biogenesis, Braun has become the cautionary tale for all high-profile professional athletes that consider taking PEDs, and the whipping boy for scorn fans and media members alike. He’s lost the game (we think) he loves, he’s lost the people, he’s lost revenue for his team and now he’s lost endorsements. Simply put, after winning his appeal in February 2012, Ryan Braun was one the last athletes that ever needed to get hit with a PED scandal.
So who else belongs on that list? HHSR decided to breakdown the five athletes that cannot ever…EVER…get caught up in a performance enhancing drug scandal. Many of these athletes have much more to lose than their own careers, which is why they made our countdown.
Disagree with our list? Give us your top 5 “don’t f— up and get caught for steroids” list in the comments section below.
5) Adrian Peterson
Football fan’s fascination with Jim Brown has been well documented. Growing up in Cleveland, few athletes were as revered as #32, who many believe is still the greatest football player of all-time, despite having retired 48 years ago. Younger generations never had the pleasure of watching Jim Brown in his day, but yours truly has always imagined he must have looked a lot like how Adrian Peterson looks today.
AD dragged the Minnesota Vikings into the playoffs, much like he dragged defenders up and down the field last season. It was arguably the best single season a running back in the NFL has ever had, and he did it all while carrying his team, his city and seemingly the weight of the world on what should have been a still recovering left knee.
Any news of the 2012-13 NFL MVP having used PEDs to achieve the out-of-this-world physique he possesses, or to recover from his torn ACL and MCL in less than nine months only to be better than we’ve ever seen him, would be unbelievably tragic. Peterson once had a reputation for being injury-prone (especially after breaking his collarbone in college)— now he has a reputation for being made of adamantium.
Peterson is also generally regarded as a tough guy and a good guy. A positive test would severely damage the both reputations.
4) Floyd Mayweather Jr.
In recent years, Money May has eclipsed every other boxer in his weight class — literally and figuratively — to become one of the great prizefighters of the last 20 years, zooming past the likes of Manny Pacquiao, Oscar De La Hoya, Roy Jones Jr., Felix Trinidad, Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson. Only Bernard Hopkins and maaaaaybe Evander Holyfield would go down in the boxing annals as on par with Floyd, over the course of the last two decades.
Mayweather will not hesitate to flaunt his still unblemished record (remarkable after 17 years) as a professional prizefighter, however the biggest fight of his career is still the one he never had. His failure to lace ’em up against Pacquiao a few years ago when both fighters were at their peak will always haunt Floyd’s legacy in the minds of many.
And that’s all Floyd is really fighting for at this point.
And a few more paychecks, fine. But when you win eight world championships in five different weight classes and you’ve never lost a fight, you’re kinda left chasing ghosts. Floyd will never come close to catching the ghosts of Robinson, Leonard and Ali for GOAT status if he ever has “cloudy piss”, as Big Boi once described it.
Forget the fact that those legendary prizefighters never needed unscrupulous means to ascended to the pinnacle of their sport; the historic bitchfest Floyd threw about Manny being tested for performance enhancers played a pivotal role in him never squaring off against Pac Man.
Sidebar: Even though Floyd had every right to take precaution when dealing with a guy that moved up eight weight classes, winning belts in each by bodying guys way bigger than him, it was still a bitchfest. And this is coming from a hardcore Money Team supporter (except Ray J).
Floyd Mayweather ain’t done yet. He has a superfight lined up for September 14th against Saul “Canelo” Álverez, which is probably the biggest fight to be had in the sport with the exception of Mayweather/Pacquiao. And those that think UFC has driven boxing out of the collective consciousness of America will be stunned to see the massive pay-per-view numbers that fight will elicit. But that’s largely due to the wide appeal of Mayweather and his current status as the sport’s cash king and poster boy.
Money has the whole sport on his back— a sport that has a history of as much corruption and grime as any. He is the current pound-for-pound king, a king who has been clean his entire career. One link to a lab or one photo with a person known for hooking up athletes with PEDs and his entire empire built on “hard work and dedication” would crumble.
3) LeBron James
As of the exact date and time this article was published, LeBron James is on top of the sporting world. He had everything any athlete could ask for before June 2012, except championships— then he got those too. He’s got fame, ESPYs, he’s engaged and he’s contemplating a campaign for the head of the NBA’s Player’s Union. Few athletes could ill-afford a hit to their public image the magnitude that a PED scandal would bring more than LeBron.
Like AD, LeBron has always been an athletic marvel. Though he’s often compared to Karl Malone because of the way guys bounce off him when he goes to the rack, LeBron is actually much leaner than you may think. So while he does have a decided physical advantage over most of his opponents, (having stood next to him on a few occasions) he wouldn’t strike you as a guy that ever dabbled in illegal performance enhancers.
Sidebar: This despite the fact that every announcer that does a LeBron game is for some reason contractually obligated to add an extra 10 pounds to his weight each season. Next year it will be, “How do you stop LeBron? I mean, he’s flying down the court, 295 lbs coming straight at you…what can you do?”
Basketball isn’t known for its players taking HGH or steroids and the like, but it does happen on occasion. Incidentally, two guys that prevented LeBron and the Cleveland Cavaliers from getting to the 2009 NBA Finals got nailed for PEDs (the Finals being where the Cavs really belonged…seriously, what player on that ’09 Orlando Magic team has balled out since that series? That entire squad played the best ball of their careers at the same damn time…said the bitter Cleveland fan). Former Magic forward turned LeBron bench warmer teammate Rashard Lewis was knocked for having elevated testosterone levels, less than three months after helping send the Cavs home for the summer. Four years later, it was Hedo Turkoglu that found himself suspended for taking illegal substances.
Who would’ve thought two players from that Magic team would get busted for banned substances, and neither was named Dwight Howard?
In any case, James cannot afford that type of misstep. Consider how hard he’s worked to recover his image since that train wreck they called “The Decision”. LBJ was a walking joke in summer 2011 after losing to Dallas in the Finals. But these last two seasons have allowed him to crawl out of the gutter and once again reach the apex of the sport. Endorsements are poppin, he’s kickin it with President Obama, he’s rapping on Instagram for some reason— now is not the time for screw-ups.
Usain Bolt gives those that don’t believe he’s clean the Mutombo treatment.
2) Usain Bolt
Like Floyd Mayweather, Usain Bolt is, for the most part, single-handedly holding down his entire sport right now. Lately sprinters have been going down for PED usage faster than…Usain Bolt!
Tim Montgomery and Justin Gatlin both got found out a few years back, and nobody has forgotten Marion Jones’ fall from grace. Hell, they’re still making specials on Ben Johnson 25 years after he scammed the Seoul Summer Olympics. Within the last two weeks, two of the most accomplished sprinters of the last decade were both found guilty of doping. The last thing track & field and the Olympics on the whole needs is for their biggest individual sport star (apologies to Michael Phelps) to fall under suspicion of PEDs.
The Summer Olympics only roll around once every four years. It isn’t like other sports where players get to showcase their skills multiple times a year, or in the case of basketball, multiple times a week. And even the very best Olympians only get two shots at the show, maybe three, before it’s all over. The women, the “Insane Bolt” commercials, the dough; it all runs dry rather quickly.
Right now, Usain Bolt has the distinction, in at least one writer’s opinion, of being the fastest man to ever walk the earth! In order to stay in that pretty exclusive club, he’ll always have to remain clean, which he claims to be. But in addition to carrying his legacy as one of the great athletes ever and carrying his sport while basically having the spotlight for roughly 10 seconds every 1,460 days, he also is carrying his country, as the most celebrated Jamaican athlete of all-time (apologies to Patrick Ewing and Cleveland Indians ace Justin Masterson…that’s right, Justin Masterson). It doesn’t help that Jamaica has come under fire of late for multiple athletes having tested positive for doping.
Bolt is Jamaica’s favorite son. He has the talent and charisma to carry his legacy, his sport and his nation; it’s safe to say every drug test he takes as as much riding on it as every competition he enters, maybe more.
1) Derek Jeter
El Capitán.
Never known for putting up gaudy power numbers, Derek Jeter has been Major League Baseball’s shining example for what a superstar and a leader is supposed to be. At age 39, the list of career accomplishments and team records for Jeter is longer than the OJ trial, and that’s well before you start talking titles.
A winner of five World Series championships (World Series MVP in 2000), the New York Yankees shortstop has carried the flag for the most accomplished pro sports franchise in American history for the better part of the last two decades. He’s done so while so many of his contemporaries who once had eye-popping home run, RBI and slugging percentage statistics, could not sustain their level of excellence. Middle infielders like Nomar Garciaparra, Bret Boone, Jeff Kent, Alfonso Soriano and Miguel Tejada threw up crazy numbers — some with the help of performance enhancers, others just under a cloud of suspicion — but eventually fell off during Jeter’s reign.
And then there’s A-Rod.
Alex Rodriguez, Jeter’s teammate and the man with whom Jeter has most been compared to throughout his career, is once again under the microscope for steroids. A Rod’s involvement with Biogenesis has him in the crossfire of a MLB investigation that could result in a lifetime ban from the sport as soon as Monday. The former shortstop and current Yankee third baseman is fifth all-time in home runs in baseball history, however the impact of his statistics don’t come remotely close to measuring up to the impact Jeter has had on the game during their respective careers.
Derek Jeter’s savvy on the diamond is matched only by his regal status off of it, and his leadership in the clubhouse. To maintain the level of production his has over 17 years while playing for the most historic team in the nation’s largest city, in an era where PEDs are being inhaled like sunflower seeds by everyone around him is nothing short of astonishing. For these reasons, Jeter is probably underappreciated.
Baseball once was “America’s Pastime”, but its rampant drug problem has eroded the purity of the game to the point that all of the sport’s elite talents are guilty until proven innocent. Baseball players that are knocked for PEDs (especially those that lie about it, get caught, are punished, reinstated and knocked again) are like hookers looking for an easy come up. The difference is, they’re not only whoring themselves out, they’re whoring out the game in the process.
For Jeter, being forced to play next to Rodriguez, aka the sports version of Rick Ross, the last nine years must have been maddening. He is the antithesis of what A Rod and Ryan Braun represent. If the only negative you can attach to #2 is sliding the “ladies” an occasional gift bag (some would argue this isn’t even a negative), than he truly is the consummate professional, competitor and winner in sports today.
Considering the success of the team’s he’s been on, one might conclude that Jeter himself is the performance enhancer.