This is easy. Too easy.
This was so easy I kind of feel guilty writing it. But they left me no choice.
The Cleveland Browns fired general manager Ray Farmer and head coach Mike Pettine after their 28-12 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers Sunday; a merciful conclusion to a 3-13 season (second worst in the NFL), and a 3-18 finish to the final 21 games of the Farmer/Pettine era. Mind-boggling coaching and clock management decisions (see every Browns two minute drill this season), somehow worse personnel decisions (see Dwayne Bowe, for starters) and the cataclysmic Johnny Manziel saga are among the many low lights of Cleveland’s 2015 campaign.
But here comes Browns owner Jimmy Haslam, the southern gentleman riding in on his white horse (possibly wielding an machete), lowering the much-anticipated boom on Farmer and Pettine while simultaneously waving his new plan for a Browns revival.
Only the plan doesn’t make any sense, unless you’re Michael Scott. Here’s 10 questions I have about what in the hell the Cleveland Browns are up to now:
1) Why Are You Hiring The Coach Before You Hire The General Manager?- Haslam opened up his press conference Sunday night by saying, “We’ll begin the search for the head coach right away”, without even addressing the GM search. Isn’t that the same thing that got the Browns in trouble last time? Pettine was hired two and a half weeks before Farmer in early 2014, which laid the groundwork for what proved to be their tumultuous two-year relationship. The in-game texting by Farmer down to the sideline, Pettine defiantly playing Brian Hoyer, Josh McCown AND Austin Davis over Manziel— it’s clear these two never did see eye to eye. Who would’ve thunk it?
2) Wait, WHO Is The New General Manager?- “Once we hire a head coach, then we’ll go out and hire a GM. Let me talk about why we’re going to do this. Effective today or tonight I should say, Sashi Brown will be our executive vice president of football operations”, said Haslam.
So Sashi Brown (who I never heard of before yesterday) will be the VP of football operations. And he, along with a group of others will select the next GM (more on this in a second). So the Browns are hiring from within their VP of football ops? Wasn’t Sashi — sold as an analytics guru, and in no way is a “football guy” — already part of this train wreck of a season? That’s like going to an eatery and getting food poisoning, and the manager giving you a coupon for more of their food as compensation— chock full of poison-y goodness.
Sorry, but I have no interest in this questionable Sashi restaurant.
3) So There’s A VP, But You’re Still Hiring A GM? Why? And Why Split Up The VP/GM Responsibilities?– Haslam said Brown will have “ultimate say on the roster.” The GM, who will be hired after the coach,” will be in charge of our entire scouting group”, and “will be in charge of putting the draft board together.” However Haslam made it clear Brown will pull the trigger on draft day. Sounds unnecessarily convoluted. It also sounds like Haslam will be paying two people to do one job.
4) Why Are You Hiring A VP That Has Zero Experience Picking Players?– The owner explained that Brown has over 10 years of NFL experience, knows the salary cap, and among other things is “good at systems and processes”, whatever that means. Conspicuous by its absence was Brown’s experience picking players, of which he has none. You know who else had zero experience picking players when Haslam hired him? Ray Farmer.
Haslam said Brown would receive input from many people, from the quarterback coach up to the head coach. You know who else received input from many people, from the quarterback coach up to the head coach? Ray Farmer.
5) What GM Prospect Would Want This Job?– You get all the tedious assignments of putting together a scout team and a draft board, but no final say on draft day. I’m a top a top-flight talent evaluator, and I get to do all of the work and get none of the glory? Sign me up!
By not giving the GM total control over the roster, the Browns have already eliminated an untold number of qualified candidates. Eliminating qualified candidates isn’t something this team should be doing. For that matter, what coach will want to sign up to be a part of this?
6) Has Any Other Team Done It This Way?– Wasn’t Jimmy Haslam a Steelers minority owner? Did Pittsburgh ever do it this way? I mean, the Rooney’s have a halfway decent idea of how this ownership thing should work, right? Haslam says it’s less about structure and more about landing the right people. But how is this structure at all alluring to the best candidates?
Haslam was actually asked this question by the Cleveland media. He reaffirmed his belief that this was a quality job, however he offered no reason other than the number of picks and “talented young players” on the roster (ha!). His response didn’t at all speak to the strength of the organizational infrastructure or any concrete examples of where this method has succeeded in the past.
7) Why Is Jimmy Haslam’s Wife Involved In This Process At All?– The search for a coach will be conducted by Haslam, Brown, an international search firm (more on this in a second) and Haslam’s better half, Dee.
I’m married. You always feel more comfortable running major decisions (and sometimes minor ones) by your wife. I get it. But hearing this doesn’t inspire any confidence in Browns fans. One could argue Dee Haslam shouldn’t be anywhere near the Berea facility. I’ll just say that even if she is part of the process, keep that to yourself, Jimmy.
8) The Search Firm…Why?– Haslam rattles off the names of several successful coaches and executives around the NFL that Jed Hughes and Korn/Ferry International supposedly helped place. But do you really need to pay this firm to locate top candidates for your head coach and watered down GM vacancies? Any knowledgeable football fan, or failing that, even a cursory Google search could’ve informed the Kansas City Chiefs of Andy Reid’s coaching credentials. I fail to see what this firm is bringing to the table.
Sidebar: Is this like the football equivalent to Worldwide Wes? The guys who just get things done behind the scenes but nobody knows why or how?
You know what happened the last time Haslam outsourced work regarding a significant football decision? They Brownies spent ONE MILLION DOLLARS on a quarterback study prior to the 2014 draft, which yielded Teddy Bridgewater (now leading a playoff team in his second season) as the top QB prospect in the class. The Browns passed on Bridgewater twice and instead drafted Johnny Manziel.
9) Why Is Anyone Being Retained?– Haslam said certain individuals on the coaching staff would be asked to stay. For what? No specific position on the team thrived this year (maybe tight end). First-year offensive coordinator John DeFilippo had a decent season, but honestly there’s no need to retain him, while defensive coordinator Jim O’Neil should be tarred and feathered for his unit’s performance. But bringing back old coaches who had allegiances to other coaches who are no longer there can easily breed contempt. And the Browns are already up to their ears in contempt.
10) Why Is Finding A Coach Within Two Weeks Even A Consideration?– Haslam: “We’re obviously going to try find somebody as quickly as possible, but by far the most important thing is to find the right person. I can’t tell you if that’s going to take two weeks or two months.”
Understood. But the last time the Browns axed their coach, they did so without any idea who they could realistically land as a replacement. As a result, 25 days came and went before Haslam hired Pettine, the team’s fifth choice. Waiting around will only get you left in the dust as other teams are also looking to secure their new leader. Naturally, the better candidates move quickly. It’s hilarious that Haslam casually threw out two weeks as the shorter end of his hiring process continuum. If the Browns don’t have a coach two weeks from now, they will have already failed, because several of their competitors already will.
I really hope I’m wrong about all this, but I feel like I’m right. On Mike and Mike this morning, ESPN’s Adam Schefter attempted to explain this setup, and (according to Haslam’s presser) did so incorrectly.
Sidebar: If Schefty can’t even break it down, I mean…?
This plan is far too unconventional for an organization that’s only ever successfully demonstrated creativity at losing football games. I write this not as a guy with a website, but as a concerned Browns fan who actually met Ray Farmer two months ago and knew he would be fired on this exact date. And with this current blueprint in place Jimmy Haslam, in spite of all his good intentions, has left little reason to believe that we won’t be back here on Monday, January 1, 2018 writing another column about the Browns blowing it up.
Every two years, this is the story. The statistics that tell the story of the Browns ineptitude are staggering (the number of coaching changes since 1999, the last five coaching moves in the division are all Cleveland’s, more coaching changes since 2011 than the Steelers have had since 1969, etc.) Haslam can roll out all of the kooky plans with all of the fun boilerplate quotes about “finding the right guys” he wants—his charge is to make the following statement untrue as soon as possible: